Guest Post: Pedophile Rehabilitation, Possible?

This is a great topic and one that interests me every day of my life.  I was married to a practicing pedophile for almost forty years without knowing it.  He is the father of my eleven children, and had so many people fooled.  He is currently serving 30 years in prison without chance of parole. He was convicted of 250 counts of child molestation of varying degrees including rape (as defined by Pennsylvania State Law).

There is always the exception to the rule – the one who doesn’t fit the norm, but for the most part those of us who have had any type of experience with a pedophile (child rapist) know that there are certain characteristic traits that are part of the make-up of a pedophile, and there are stages of pedophilia – the grooming, total manipulation, moving on to sex/sexual acts, and then going beyond to the point of where they are very open with their acts of pedophilia (and this is the stage where pedophiles generally mess up and get caught).  Pedophiles, as a whole, take no responsibility for their actions – it’s always the fault of the child.  “The child came on to me.”  “The child was dressed in a way that made me get aroused.”  “The child lied.”  “I didn’t do anything that bad.” And, on and on.

That being said, I’m still not sure how much is learned behavior, behavior due to past life experiences (including molestation) and/or that of being a sociopath.  But, I do know this – in many studies conducted plus years and years of data collected, there is not supporting evidence that pedophiles can be rehabilitated.  In fact, quite the contrary.  In the countless books I’ve read, pedophile after pedophile says the same thing, “I’d do it again.”  I’m not sure they see that there is much wrong with their actions against children.

Anna Salter is considered an expert in the field of child molestation, child rape and pedophilia and in her case studies she has come to the same conclusion.  To date, there is no known rehabilitation that has worked for pedophiles.  Some may argue that they’ve not been given the chance.  They’ve been labeled and not allowed to speak up to get help for fear of going to prison.  I beg to differ with that – I do believe that if pedophiles sought help – honestly sought help, there are counselors who could work with them.  The truth is at the end of the day, a child molester is a child molester.

In fact, many pedophiles are mandated intense counseling only to fall back into their actions once again.  One may ask what the recidivism rate is for pedophiles and it is interestingly low.  The belief is that pedophiles grow smarter and know how to escape getting caught once they get out of their rehabilitation program or prison.

Excellent information on case studies can be found in Anna Salter’s book, “Predators: Pedophiles, Rapists, And Other Sex Offenders.”  I would encourage all interested in this subject to read the book.

In my personal experience with my now ex-husband who is serving the rest of his life in prison, he is not interested at all in rehabilitation.  He is a minister and believes he is totally and completely forgiven.  He believes his slate has been wiped clean.  He is not sitting in remorse over the fact that he has molested time and time and time and again and has left wreckage in the lives of countless little girls.  He is not expressing deep sorrow.  Instead, he is writing people asking for photos of their little children with the promise that he will not have “naughty thoughts.”  He continues to write others saying he really didn’t do anything “that bad” and now that he’s forgiven he’d be such a great person to go around from church-to-church teaching about the actions of pedophiles.

What’s interesting to me is the way the minds of child rapists think.  They don’t seem to have a normal mind that can reason out the extent of what they have done.  They know it’s wrong, but they continue.  They know they cannot be trusted, yet they seek out children.  They know…….yet they continue to harm.

I do not believe pedophiles can be rehabilitated to the point of being allowed in mainstream population with children.  In the very ending of the book, “Conversations With a Pedophile: In the Interest of our Children” by Amy Hammel-Zabin the very last page sheds a bright light on this.  She counseled a pedophile (who molested over 1,000 children) and she formed a relationship with him whereby they wrote letters back and forth for over ten years.  The very last page – at the end of the ten years when she decided she had learned enough from him – his final words were, “What time is it?  It’s about time for the children to get out of school.”  The children were always, always on his mind!

It is my belief that once a pedophile, there is always the potential to commit those actions, no matter how long the pedophile has been in counseling and other treatment.

People commit sexual crimes for different reasons. Some are highly predatory, highly psychopathic and have repeated offenses, making them more likely to re-offend time and time again.  Are we willing to take this chance on who is the rehabilitated one?  I’m not.