Married to a Pedophile: A Personal Encounter With Survivors of Sexual Abuse

I’m back after a three month break while finishing up writing my book on finding hope after child loss.  If you know of anyone who has experienced the loss of a child, please  give them a copy of the book.  Part of our mission is to help people who are suffering, and this book will help any parent who is suffering the pain of child loss.

This weekend I had the blessing of attending a conference on child sexual abuse.  I wish I could say that it was enjoyable, but quite the contrary.  While at this conference, I had the opportunity to hear two survivors of child sexual abuse speak out and I must say that upon hearing what they endured as children, and what they are enduring now as adults, I could feel my heart literally breaking.

Child sexual abuse is a pain that no child deserves! To turn a deaf ear and do nothing is, in my opinion, a very grave sin! 

When the young man spoke, his voice was trembling.  He began with a prayer asking God to embrace him, to empower him, to give him the strength to speak out.  What followed will remain with me for the rest of my days on this earth.

I heard how the father, a preacher, molested this young man and his brothers from little up.  Details were given of grooming.  The young man broke down and sobbed.  He fell to his knees calling out, “Where was God when this was going on?  Where was God?”

Tears fell from my face soaking the papers in front of me.  These papers were so meaningless.  This was a young man speaking of his shattered life.

He explained that his father would molest him, then tell him to come with him and hand out food to the poor of the community.  People of the community loved and adored his father.  He was exemplary in every way of what a Christian should be.  Every way except — he was abusing his four sons every day!

The young man talked about his depression and wanting to end his life.  He spoke of sleepless nights when nightmares visited him frequently.  He knew of no way out.  Nobody would believe this about his father.  Not his father — the man of God so loved and adored by the church and community.

And, so his pain continued.  He battled severe anxiety, chronic depression, fits of anger, addiction.  He was alone and didn’t know what to do so he lay in his bed curled up in a ball wearing socks on his hands to hide his feelings of being dirty.  So dirty because of the way he was used by his own father, the preacher, the so-called man of God.

He left home and about three years ago met a lovely young lady, they married and had a son of their own, by the grace of God.  He told her of his past — not an easy thing for anyone to do.  But, he said it was liberating to finally talk about it and to know that someone could love him — someone could care.

His family was expected to come together for family gatherings, and although he didn’t want to ever see his father again, he attended to see his mother and his brothers.  He vowed never to take his eyes off of his father when his little son was in the room.

And, then the unthinkable happened.  He turned to reach to get something out of the oven and when he turned back around the father had his hands fondling this young man’s eighteen month old son’s genitals!

The young man fell to his knees weeping.  “I failed my son and I vowed at that moment to turn my father in.” 

He did turn his father in to the authorities six months ago and a thorough investigation is being conducted.  But, it’s not as you would think…………………

This young man called his father and mother together and he confronted his father.  He wanted to tell him of all of the agony and pain he has been through and continues to suffer every single day of his life.  He wanted his father to know of the nightmares, the anxiety, the depression, the desire to end his life because of the years of abuse.

He wanted his father to care.  He wanted his father to say he was sorry.

Instead, he received another jab to his heart.

His father looked at him emotionless.  His mother admitted that she suspected this abuse was going on.  But, she also made it clear that she would stand by the molester husband and do all she could to make it look like the son was crazy when this case goes to court.  She has already begun to drum up support from the local church where her husband preaches.  She’s helping to build a case against the son saying his accusations are wild and from the mouth of a crazy person.

This young man wept loud.  He cried out in pain and agony again, “Where is God in this?   God, where are you?  I need you now more than every before!”

His father will probably get off with only a slap on the wrist.  His father will not stop molesting.  His father will continue to hurt children and cause irreparable pain in the lives of the young and innocent unless we become a united voice to stop this!

I left that conference more broken than ever before.  I left knowing that I must do more.  I left knowing that WE must do more.

And, so I am asking you for suggestions on where and how to begin.  I know we have to get word out to our legislators to change and enforce more strict laws.  I know we must work on a local level to bring awareness.  I know that we must do something to  protect children in churches such as is  being done with Church Protect.

How can we become a stronger voice?  Please give me your opinions.  If you know someone working with our laws, please refer them to this blog.  Please give them my email:  clarahintonspeaker@gmail.com or refer them to Jimmy Hinton.

We cannot remain silent.  We must do something NOW to protect our innocent children and to give comfort to those who have been victimized.

Thank you for any suggestions you can give me.

Love,

Clara

PS  If you would like to give some financial support to Church Protect, please buy some of these natural soaps.  A portion of every soap purchased goes to Church Protect and that money is used 100% for protecting our children.  As always, thank you for your help!